Posts in nest
A Dresser of Tales

For me, the thought of living in a house without a dresser is akin to living without a beating heart. It is incongruous to the very reverence of home. To be without one would be like a bibliophile living in a house without a bookcase or a painter inhabiting a room with no light. It is simply incomprehensible to me. My entire life can be plotted and recorded through an array of kitchen dressers over the years, all different in style and date but all documenting the life I have lived so far. Because in essence that is what a dresser is. It is a tangible photo album, a tactile journal of the discoveries and dreams of its owner.

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Adjusting the Sails

A while ago, a calligrapher friend of mine gifted me the most beautiful card on which were written the words, ‘We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails’. I taped this postcard to the green cupboard just above my kitchen sink and each time I went to open the door, the words would resonate in my head. As time went by, slowly and imperceptibly these words became my mantra. We all had to make changes to our lives last year. For some of us, those changes came easily and we learnt a lot about ourselves in the process. But for others, sailing in a new direction became perilous, especially as our boat turned away from the horizon and the endless dark and cavernous sea surrounded us.

I remember feeling quite daunted by how much time I had at my disposal. I would often wonder whether you could actually have too much time. Long days of little things sounded idyllic but in reality there were too many gaps in the day through which I could fall and become underwhelmed by nothingness.

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A Knife and Fork in the Road

Stress. It arrives like an unwelcome houseguest, brazenly walking through the door without being invited in, dropping its bags overflowing with anxiety, tension and agitation at your feet. It pushes past you, takes root in your chair and throws its feet upon the nearest table. It looks at you with controlling eyes as if to say, ‘I’m here now and I’m going to call the shots’. You stand there, feeling as though your strings have been cut, feeling the full weight of your body from the vacuous air above.  You hope that if you ignore it, it’ll just shrivel away. But it doesn’t work like that. It’s like a petulant, needy child, constantly seeking attention and demanding your time. If you give it the silent treatment, it’ll just shout louder in your ear. 

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A Perfectly Portioned Autumn

It’s that time of year again, my favourite time when the smell of autumn lingers in the air and everything feels new and possible. Every year I have such high hopes for autumn. I promise myself that I shall be out revelling in it as much as possible. I imagine the long walks in my favourite knitwear, my ochre scarf wrapped around my neck as I kick up leaves in my walking boots. But for me, autumn always comes with a side serving of trepidation and fear. Because autumn is as much about food as it is about being outdoors. It’s the season of harvest and abundance, tempting me with big roast dinners, warming stews and wholesome soups. I love to plan walks where I know there's a cafe so I can sit and enjoy my cake and coffee as the light fades around me. For me, autumn gives with one hand and cruelly takes with another. 

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The Smallest of Things

Then there are the shafts of light that suddenly seem to appear around the house. You walk into a room and there they are. Beautiful vignettes, each breathing new life into a forgotten patch on the wall or a corner of the furniture. In a brief moment, it holds everything in its path in perfect clarity as the edges around it gradually fall into shade. And if by chance the ray catches a nodding, humble flowerhead in its path, the moment is elevated into something more than mere light and shade.  

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A Place to Belong

'I lived a 'suitcase existence' never forming an emotional attachment to any of the places we were sent to because I knew my time there was temporary. On our arrival at any new quarter, I would quickly unpack our boxes, place furniture and objects around the rooms and hang curtains and pictures. After a while this process became almost automatic, perfunctory. My only aim was to get sorted as quickly as possible so we could get on with the day to day routines. I wasn't building a home as such, I was simply filling the abandoned spaces with familiar things, which would one day be packed away again. '

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